The definition of the word vow in the dictionary is:1 A solemn(serious, grave, deeply earnest) promise or pledge, esp. one made to God, dedicating oneself to an act, service or way of life.2 a solemn(serious,grave deeply earnest) promise of love(see 1Corinthians 13...the dictionary didn't say that...I did) and fidelity(faithful obligation to duty or to ones obligations or vows, loyalty, faithfulness) 3 A solemn promise or asserition.
In Numbers 30:1-2 it says this about a vow... Then Moses spoke to he heads of the tribes concerning the children of Isreal saying, "This is the thing which the Lord has commanded: If a man makes a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by some agreement, he shall not break his word; he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.
And then on a different note, we are created in God's image, and with His words He spoke things into being. This says that words are weighty. They hold power and we should not utter them lightly...especially in marriage.
The more I consider my own experience and talk to others about this subject the more I am convinced that we have been deceived. The majority of women that I talk to had no idea what they were getting into when they got married. We have been so brainwashed to believe that love is something that feels good. When the expectation is shattered, we tend to flounder. I myself floundered for months trying to replace what I thot was reality with God's truth about Love and Marriage. For some the floundering is too much and instead of ditching the fairy tale they ditch the marriage, opting to keep searching for something that they will never find. God's design for marriage wasn't solely for our enjoyment, although there is much to enjoy. His design was for our continued perfecting...That means, as we face the challenges that arise in marriage, our true nature(not often pretty) comes out and we are forced to surrender that part of ourselves to God. Our junk doesn't tend to come up when things are going well...it is in the trials that our character can be refined.
In my case the vows are made and I have no intention of breaking them even now that I know the truth. My word on my wedding day before God, Will and my family stands. I'm just wondering what we can do to counteract the deception. How can we prepare young people for the reality of marriage, so that when the trials come their foundations are not shaken. I want the vows that we make on our wedding day to be a weighty, lifetime, solemn commitment, not just a nice romantic tradition. I don't even know if what I'm saying is plausible. I want our promises to each other to mean a lifetime NO MATTER WHAT, not AS LONG AS I CAN HANDLE IT OR AS LONG AS IT STILL FEELS GOOD.
So those are the thoughts to consider for the day. What does your WORD or VOW mean to you? What do they mean to God? And how in the world can we do something different? How can we help people count the cost so their words are truly a promise to devote themselves to a lifetime of fulfilling them.
3 comments:
Erica, you guys are not the norm. You will need to share with us how you "got"it. Where did you see the fine print, cuz the women I've talked to did not.
It's the best thing I ever did too. And Will is the best gift that God has ever given to me. Even still marriage was not what I had expected and when I look at it apart from my faith and conviction that marriage is forever, I can see how someone might give up. I am not only speaking to those people who have it good, but trying to also offer something to those who struggle... a hope that it CAN be great and the comfort in knowing that they are not alone in the struggle.
Growing up I did not see a marriage with regular ups and downs. Either My parents never fought due to the fact that my Dad is easy going and my mom is non confrontational, or they concealed conflict from us. I truly had not seen an example of ups and downs. I did however see an example of lifetime commitment. I think I was also pretty young and naive when I got married. My dating history was extremely brief and we had an arranged marriage of sorts. So I knew very little of the differences between men and women and when we got married just 5 months after we had met, the infatuation stage had not even worn off. I honestly admit, I signed the contract before I really knew what I was agreeing to, but it has been an adventure that I would not trade for anything.
So it seems that in your case age, maturity, experience, and good examples made you somewhat more prepared for life together.
Yes...the crisis line would absolutely be a reality check.
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