Love suffers long...what???

OK, I'm back.  I spent the whole weekend without access to a computer.  How I ever managed to do it, I'll never know:)  I have continued to pray for marriages although I admit I did a quickie once or twice this week.  I have to tell you that I have just experienced a day where it was a struggle to practice what I have been preaching.  Upon his return from a 4 day fishing trip, I found my husband to be snappy and full of observations about my shortcomings...due to the frustration of not catching many fish.   I was offended, hurt, defensive and angry...after all he had just enjoyed his 3rd mini vacation from life in a month and I figured he should come home refreshed and overflowing with thankfulness to me for handling things while he was gone.  But that has not been my reality over the last 24 hours.  Somehow though things seem to have resolved themselves and I managed to avoid freaking out, which is alway a bonus.

Anyways today as I was praying I was thinking a bit about love in our "instant gratification" generation and I made a connection that I had never made before.  1 Corinthians 13:4 begins with {LOVE SUFFERS LONG, is kind, love is not envious, love is not vain, is not puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not pursue it's own things, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice over wrongs but rejoices with the truth, quietly covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, love never fails.}  Wow...now that is a tall order to fill, but I got stuck today on the "LOVE SUFFERS LONG"  part.  Some translations of the Bible say "love is patient", but I think that the word patient falls short in describing what is actually expected.   To me, SUFFERING IMPLIES SOMETHING UNPLEASANT AND PAINFUL...being patient is generally just really irritating,   I wonder if the reason people are willing to give up on marriage so quickly is because they aren't acquainted with that facet of loving someone.   No one told us that marriage would be challenging/bordering on impossible at times.  We did not expect a spouse that hurt us and seemed unwilling to change.  We didn't realize that when it came down to it men and women are completely different and hard to understand from our own point of view.   I know I expected a man that would love me the way I loved him...and if he happened to fall short on that he would just have to change.   I did not expect that "suffering long" would be part of the deal.  

I have a sneaking suspicion that we are not mentally prepared, a lot of us, to "suffer long".  We are accustomed to instant gratification.  We like to get the end result without a lot of effort.  We suffer a little and it hurts or downright sucks, so we put a limit on the amount we're willing to endure.  We vowed "till death do us part", but does that really imply suffering THAT long?  I think that it does...but I don' t look at that as a life sentence.  Because I have experienced the power of God in my life, I trust/have faith/believe that as I walk in willingness to suffer long(something that ultimately takes prayer and God's strength)  He will either change the situation, or change me.  There is something to be learned in walking through the struggles that we will miss it if we abandon ship.  

When I tell my husband that I love him, I am not talking about the "feeling"  but a commitment to "suffer long" with him.  And I'm sure at times he is "suffering long" with me.  Thankfully through the seasons of life as God works out the junk in us, there are times when there's not too much in the way of suffering and we can just enjoy each other.  For some of us those moments are fleeting and we need to enjoy them while we can.  And for some it takes all our strength and faith in God to believe that we'll ever get there.  And it is for you that I most pray.  And to you I aspire to offer hope.  When you can't go on in your own strength...your only hope is to get on your knees.  When you can't muster up the love, when you can't find reasons to respect or the strength to do it, when you can't get past the hurt you feel your spouse has done to you, when bitterness is hardening your heart and forgiveness seems impossible, when you don't know how to trust anymore...God is your only chance...He is the only answer that I have in life and marriage.  

 I don't think the wording in 1 Corinthians 13 is just a fluke.  Beginning with "Love suffers long" is God's way of telling us the truth so we'll be a little less surprised when loving our spouse seems like a lot of work.