I have to say that the last couple of days have been a challenge for me. For some reason I have been feeling bored and lonely and battling a bit with the "blues" I find that my immediate response is to wallow in it for a while. For some reason I just accept it. So for the past couple days I have been moping around trying to put a finger on the source of my bad mood. Basically I forget to fight. I forget that there is a spiritual battle going on, not just a physical/emotional battle. SO last night as I was complaining to my husband about how I was feeling... expecting/hoping for some sympathy "Oh poor me"... he gave me something that I had missed. The truth. "Why are you wallowing there?" "Have you prayed?" "Yes you have some stress, but you need to do something else to take your mind off of it" Don't you just hate it when people tell you the truth :) Hmmmmm novel idea. I dealt with 2 years of depression/anxiety and I dare say that I learned to fight with God's weapons. But how quickly I forget. Somehow the truth really had escaped me...and so I took a moment and embraced it again... and I continue to as my 2 year old throws a temper tantrum and my 7 year old wakes me up with his yelling and I am tempted again to indulge in my lonliness and frustration. Now that I am writing this out, I believe that God has given me this little lesson so that I have something to give to you. Marriage is not too much different from my struggle these last few days. We often get distracted by all the things that our spouse fails to do. We get bombarded by bitterness and search for the source outside ourselves. We wallow in "Oh woe is me that I need to work so hard". ETC. Sometimes we even let ourselves stay there... some of us longer than others. The thing is that the battle goes beyond the physical/relational level and we need to really get that. Just as my battle goes beyond emotions and hormones. We have a faith-battle to fight in the spirit for marriage too..."for our struggle is not just against flesh and blood". Our spouse is not our enemy, but believe me when I tell you that we have a very crafty one who knows exactly where to attack us( think of that the next time you are angry at your spouse and you are bombarded with thought after thought about his shortcomings... past junk and things completely unrelated to the current situation)
God's purpose for marriage is to refine us and teach us about Him...to draw us close to Him in our struggles and to depend on Him when our spouse falls short. Not only that, but He brings forth new life as we become one. A strong and lasting marriage brings glory to God. We have an enemy who daily works against God's purpose for us and our marriages. he would like nothing more than to destroy that solid foundation. I think that truth escapes us in the midst of marital struggle. We forget where the battle really is. I forget. BUT I THINK THAT IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT WE REMEMBER AND FIGHT. I think that is the main reason that I need to pray. We can go on a crusade to teach all of the most helpful tools to make a marriage work, but the bottom line, tools are man-made and they fail. Not to say that the tools are bad, but I believe that our main defense needs to be prayer. So I pray that God would bless your marriages and strengthen them to withstand the battle. I pray that He would open your eyes to see that there is a war to be fought and that He would teach you to use His weapons. May He call you to pray for your marriage and your spouse and to stand in prayer for others. Lord bless my friends.
Oh and one more thing that I think is also important...Although the truth wasn't exactly what I was hoping for from Will last night, it is exactly what I needed to hear. I have 2 or 3 friends in my life that tell me the truth like that and although it doesn't feel good all the time, it shows me that they actually love me enough to be concerned about my character and my marriage. Please do the same. It is good to listen when people need to talk or vent, but is is even more important to point them to the truth when they are done. We are not helping each other when we allow each other to stay stuck...even if we have nothing else to say but gently remind them of the battle. "Yes your situation is crappy and I have no idea what I would do in your position, but don't forget that you have an enemy that wants nothing more than to see your marriage fail. Don't let him win. You have a God that can change hearts and attitudes and redeem situations that seem hopeless...go to Him." They might not be super happy with you, but they will know that you love them enough to tell them the truth.
1 comment:
just noticed you haven't posted for awhile!
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